God is good

God is good. There is no question. At least there shouldn't be any question about that, although when I read the old testament I question this due to my lack of understanding. But I have just recently had my eyes opened a little bit more to the truth of this last statement. Refreshing. Anyways my point, for the first time last night I walked into my house while nobody was there and didn't check all of the places that someone could be hiding. Baby steps. Is it not true that fear = lack of trust. I have believed the lies of Satan by living in fear which therefore means I have lacked trust in God. By breaking down some of that fear, I have felt like that trust is being restored little by little. Not to say the fear is completely gone, but something feels a little bit different. God is good.

Talent

da da dang... this kid can belt it out. Sixth-Grade performance of Lady Gaga's 'Paparazzi'

Elated Despair

It's done. As i walk out the the school gate for the last time, i don't know if i should cry or shout for joy.  I have dreamed of this moment for a long time, i just forgot the part where i have to say all the good byes.  Some of these kids i didn't ever want to see again, that sounds awful but they, at times made my life hell, but for some reason i am saddened by the fact that i didn't get to say good bye to every single one of them.  This has been the longest but also the shortest year of my life.  I am not sure I can even bring to memory some of the challenges that I have faced purely because I didn't want to ever think of them after they happened.  But these kids are faced with challenges a hundred times greater than mine ever were this year. 

Today  I whispered I love you, to a little boy, who I am not sure has ever heard those words spoken to him.  He looked shocked, and i watched as his lips fumbled the sound of the word love out of his mouth.  It fell out sounding like phuv.  he grabbed me in a hug and sprinted off.  Had he ever said or heard the word love before?   

I went to the 8th grade graduation last night and as i watch some of these kids and i look into their eyes, i can see a depth that goes deeper than some adults that i have met, purely because of some of the things that they have experienced in life.  

I listened to a teachers prayer over her students as she has graduated them out of grade-school, "Lord you know the challenges these kids face, the abusive unstable homes with grandparents trying to fill in as parents because the parents are to broken to be parents to their own children." 

I watched a young mans face radiate embarrassment and disappointment as his own drunken mother came to his graduation with a bottle of beer in her hand.  These kids aren't ready for academy, emotionally these kids are stunted, they've been cheated, wronged.  Life is already breaking their spirit, their belief in their selves, their heart has been broken, disappointed, lied to....and they are only 13 or 14 years old.  

       

I still don't know what to feel right now.  elated despair. That's the best i got.

283 Days...283 Days with no fighting, yelling, stealing, lying, name-calling, silent fuming, door slamming, "borrowed" clothes, arguments, being locked in the bathroom, rude awakenings, farts in my face, screaming, jumped on, sat on, fighting over the shower and ... did i mention the wedgies...

Also 283 days with no shared secrets, private jokes, secret languages, knowing looks, understanding ears, beautiful cloths, hysterical laughing, mid-night escapades, singing in the car as loud as we can, sleeping in the same bed, laughing at the others stupid comments, sharing stories, sharing food, sharing clothes, experiences, movies, ice-cream, or dance-parties....283 days without Laughing with my sister face-to-face.  

I really missed this girl.  And i can't wait to see her tomorrow.  Jeni i love you too.  Just so you know, the next thing i am looking forward to is us three sleeping together outside in one bed on the back porch.  You have no idea how excited I am for us to all hang out this summer.  It is going to be AMAZING!!! I can't wait for all the memories we will make.

kin·dred spir·it (plural kin·dred spir·its)

Definition:

somebody like you in character: somebody who resembles somebody else in character, interests, and temperament Contessa Mensink...you are awesome.  I just want to make sure that anyone who googles your name will hopefully come across this blog and read it and be made aware of your awesomeness.  I can't think of more than a few people who have talked and dreamed with me and then made those things reality.  My favorite thing about Contessa is that when we talk, its not just the I'm-gonna-dream-about-this-but-don't-expect-it-to-actually-happen, kind of talk, its the Let's-dream-about-this-and-then-make-it-happen kind of talk.  I was thinking today how many things we have done together...its a lot, and our plans for the future and it made me smile, because I know with us, some of our craziest dream-talks are going to happen. And they are going to be awesome.  Just like the ones we have already done.  Those who still don't understand the awesomeness of this girl, well let me give you some examples.  She has traveled the world, (well a lot of it), went and ran up Mount Rainer, ran a marathon, Jumped out of a plane at thousands of feet, is an amazing cook, goes hiking at 5 am, goes cliff jumping, and does a million other things that are extremely hardcore.     So even though we don't always see eye-to-eye on every single thing, I am so thankful for our many adventurous excursions and our exciting plans for our future.  What ever you chose to do you are going to be awesome.  So PA or Doctor, what does it really matter, either way both of them are going to easily support your diversely active lifestyle.  Ok, that may be simplifying that decision a little to much.

if i was rich...

I think if i was rich i would like to go to bars.

bars where the waitresses wear short skirts 

with their bras showing because they think it 

will get them more tips.  Bars where the waitresses 

point and laugh with the other waitresses because

you aren't ordering any alcohol.  Bars where the 

waitresses have a black eye that's covered up with

to much eye makeup.  Bars where the waitresses 

have been so beat up with life that they have forgotten

how to be dreamers.  I want to go to these bars and leave

them tips in the amount that they have never dreamed of 

seeing before.  And i like to think that they would take this

money and buy themselves a new life.  But i guess that's

not how it works, i guess money isn't really what they 

need, or is it?  What do people like this need, or are they 

actually content with their way of life.  I would have liked to

ask my waitress all these questions tonight but i guess that 

doing something like that isn't socially acceptable.  But then 

again i think that a lot of the things Jesus did probably wasn't

socially acceptable either.  I think i should live a more socially 

unacceptable life.  Although I am not sure i want to.  happy cinco

de mayo.  

"Susan Boyle dreamed of being a professional singer since she was 12. She's now 47 and lives in a small village in Scotland. Last weekend she appeared on Britain's Got Talent, where her performance....well, check it out here. Please.

Listen to her beautiful voice, and then think about what that moment meant. For 35 years, Susan Boyle dreamed about it. She faced enormous struggles and roadblocks, but did not let them derail her completely. She sang in her church choir and at karaoke nights, continuing to develop her voice, and then she stepped out. She signed up for the show and in a matter of minutes has taken the world by storm. 

What strikes me when I watch the video (and I've watched it several times over the past few days), it's that while her voice is truly breathtaking, it's not those few minutes onstage that tell her story. It's 35 years of dreaming, 35 years of never giving up, 35 years of judging herself by what she had on the inside, not how she looked on the outside, that make her performance not just beautiful, but heroic.

In my eyes, anyway.

I believe that each of us has the power to achieve our dreams...or some measure of them, anyway. If we step away from the mirror and lookinside ourselves, we can find our strengths, our tenacity, and our courage, and we can succeed."

Kindergartners who listen to rap music.

3rd graders who's parents live in California.

a boy who can't afford to bring lunch to school.

an exchange student who cuts his wrists.

active twin boys who can't go outside after school.

a five year old who only talks about Nintendo D'S...Seriously.

a 7th grade boy who got in a fist fight with his father at school.

an 8th grade dropout.

a first grader pretending to smoke a stick as a joke.

a child pulled out of school because of negative influences.

a teacher cussed out by a parent.

gossiping teachers.

children raised by grandparents.

a 6 year old who sometimes lives with his uncle, his mom, or his other uncle.

a kindergartner who watched his dad crack his moms skull with a golf club.

a 3rd grade girl who got made fun of because her dad was in jail.

the small 8th grade boy who "accidentally" gets beat up by classmates.

a mother slapping her 5 year old across the face

8th grade girls on birth control.

4th grades who ride the public bus to school by themselves. 

girls desperate for attention.

a kindergartner who asked me who Jesus was.

 

The Best Kind Of Surpise.

You know the ones I am talking about.  The ones that freeze that second into a complete halt.  The ones that ares so surprising that even in your best day dreams you couldn't even create that moment in your head.  That was what Dustin's proposal was like. . . The Best Kind of Surprise.

It started with this painting.  Dustin painted it then cut it up and 

wrote clues and hints on the back of each piece then set up an

extravagant treasure hunt all over the island.

We went hiking at six in the morning....

After some amazing breakfast with macadamia nut syrup we went Kayaking, watched hang-gliders, and para-gliders.

Then Contessa made us one of the best sandwiches I have ever eaten.  We watched sea turtles and whales from this spot. We then headed back to shower and get dressed up for eating out at P.F. Changs, my favorite restaurant.  

One of the last clues Contessa gave to me with a blindfold on it.  She blindfolded me and then took me for a drive.

This is where we ended up.  Overlooking the ocean, palm trees, and the Hawaiian Sunset.

 As Dustin took my blindfold off I remember opening my eyes and seeing everything he had laid out and thinking, "wow, this is really amazing just for something to do to make me feel special, the must had been a lot of work."  That is all I thought, there was not even a second where the idea that he might even be thinking about proposing entered my mind.  

After Dustin played his guitar and sang me a song he had written, he gave me the last piece of the painting.  We put the painting together, and then talking a little about the day.  During this time, i asked him why he was still so nervous, "the song is over Dustin, I loved it.  You can relax now.  Lets just sit and talk and hang out,  Stop being so nervous."  He smiled and said ok, but then told me he had one more question he wanted to ask me... And then I got the best surprise of my life and a beautiful ring on my finger.

7 months

Chelsey...I miss you.  Lets do this again in seven months.  

Roaches!

So the one big complaint i have about Hawaii is, the cockroaches.  I think I could be here forever and no matter how many times i see one it will still produce the same feelings in me. Fury that rises up from my stomach, that they would dare have the nerve to run around where i can see them.  My body instantly starts tensing up as the cockroach and i stare at each other both trying to decide what to do.  Well good news my friends, i have finally figured out a solution to my unending hatred for Roaches.  I discovered tonight another purpose for my amazing odd talent at towel snapping, and cockroaches seem to provide the perfect target.  I discovered this talent in an odd sort of way tonight.  I happened to be sitting on the toilet ( too much information, sorry but it plays a key part in my discovery ).  So while sitting there i see a giant cockroach run out from the garbage can by me, i can't step on it cause it is to far away, and i can't throw something at it cause it probably won't kill it.  Meanwhile the roach has frozen in this corner about 3 feet away from me.  I have frozen on the toilet knowing that if i move it is going to run under the door... but then i spotted the towel hanging right in front of me.  Brilliant!  So i slowly rolled the towel up just how i like to, i try to aim the best that i can from my awkward position...SNAP!  Deep satisfaction as both i and the two halves of the cockroach have a whole new respect for my talent. 

Terere Time

This blog is to my whole family, who are having a little family vacation in Hawaii without me. Although I should have seen this coming sense we did this to Tiff when she was in Astralia.

Well I want you to know that I miss each one of you very much and wish that I could be there for my birthday, your birthday mom and Thanksgiving. Instead I get to take lots and lots of tests in 2 days so that I can leave for Buenos Aires. 

Sometimes when Im walking around this town I wish that you all were here so that you could see what I do every day. I always thought that living in a small town would drive me crazy. But I love it! Everything is seriously no more than a 3 min. walk at the most. It's always fun because you never going anywhere without see someone you know and stopping to give them a kiss and ask about their day. 

This picture is from sabbath afternoon where it seems that the whole town goes to hang out and let their kids play on the playground. I never realized how much of a culture thing drinking mate or terere (the cold version of mate, kinda like ice tea) was, but its all about being around friends and family and spending time with them. 

This past week (this part is for mom and dad) I had to write a 2 page research paper in spanish SINGLE spaced and I got and A- on it! Happy Birthday Mom! lol jk

I love you all!

The Left Out Sis :(

HEY!! so Im the third blaser sister that apparently Tiffany forgot about when she was making this whole blog thing. ya.. just wonderin what was goin through ur head there tiff. thanks for thinking of me. i know you miss me but dont make it too obvious or anything. Today dad and i went horseback riding in the dark. ... well actually dad went joggin while i rode captain but thats his problem cause he wont get a horse. but its ok cause im working on that slight problem. ok i love you both lots and lots even though im forgotten! I MISS YOU GUYS!!!!!!!! XOXOXO

Germs and the Bus

Chelsey, you would have been especially disgusted with my last bus experience.  I was headed over to the other side of the island after school one day to visit Dustin and I was really tired.  When the bus finally came around I was a little disappointed to see that i was going to have to stand the whole time because it was so crowded.  I was standing right by this kid who was probably 14 or 15, had on a dirty white tank top and didn't look very friendly.  I didn't think to much about it but i couldn't help watch him as he sat there.  There was a girl that was sitting near him, not next to him, but one seat over from him.  And he kept trying to talk to her.  I thought they new each other, because they kept making eyes at each other and he eventually put his arm around her.  Then i saw him do something that almost made me throw up.  He picked a scab on his arm until it bled, and then he actually wiped the blood with his finger and then wiped it on the hand railing.  I instantly felt sick to my stomach.   He did this a few times until he got distracted by this girl again.  When she finally got off the bus, turns out they didn't know each other before this bus ride, anyways when she did get off the bus he started entertaining himself by blowing spit bubbles.  I don't know if i can ride the bus for a while.  I felt sick for a long time.  I got of the bus and felt like i should shower.  it was the worst hour i have had in a very long time.  I think you probably would have said something to him.  I wish you had been there.  

Iguazu Falls

I just got back from my first ACA trip. We went to Iguazu Falls up in the most northern tip of Argentina. A nice 15 hour bus ride, but it was definitely worth it. There was so many different water falls, they actually cover about 2 miles total. One of my favorite parts was a boat tour that took us really close to one of the falls, we were so close that i couldn't see anything and was completely soaked, but it felt really good because the humidity is out of control!

Every night we would have a small worship and one night a big group of us stayed after and sang a ton of songs. It reminded me alot of Mivoden. I loved it! We have a couple really fun black people in our group that lead the singing which made it lots of fun cause they are so hard core into singing :) I did get sick one of the days, but alot of us did. Luckily im better now :)

All in all it was such a fun trip! we played games at night like mafia and spoons, took a billion pictures, stayed up way too late every night and watched tons of movies, especially on the way back. Im excited for all the other trips we get to go on :)

Grapefruit, Happiness, and Anger

I love Grapefruit Juice.  I bought some today.

                                                                

$7.26

That's how much it was....

Seven freaking dollars and 26 cents.

One Carton.

Anger.

                                                                      

The Cleaner Sister...

Chelsey, I dedicate this wonderful picture to you. You would have been very proud of me today.  I cleaned.  A lot.  And it reminded me of all the good fights we had when we lived together.  One in particular that is making me laugh right happened at 9:30 pm, I had just gotten off work and was exhausted.  You were determined to make me vacuum.  I remember you sitting on our comfy chair reading a magazine trying to tell me that I could not go visit Dustin at his apartment until I vacuumed the room.  You were pissed...furious. I believe that one ended quite badly, or that might be a different one i am thinking of....hmmm i guess there were quite a few ;)  Either way, I want to say thanks for all you did last year to keep our room cleaned.  Now that I think about it I really didn't do much except kill the spiders for you.  Well what I wanted to say in all this is I love you and I would have let you sit on my couch and watch a movie today while I cleaned all day.

Thank you!!!

Chelsey, thank you.  I feel like that was a little bit of a lame excuse for taking so long, but thanks.  But you can't write one and then never again.

Mountains, Mountains, Mountains...

I love mountains.  I think that if i was here and there weren't any mountains i would go crazy.  

luckily there is a range of mountains that divide the island.  I love driving through them.  The road that I take is actually a tunnel that goes right through the middle of them.  Then you come out on the other side and look down on the whole city of Kailua and Kaneohe.  Every time i see the view it makes me thankful that I am alive, and that God is artistic.  

We hiked up here, and it was unbelievable.  

It felt a little like home, mountains, clouds, and a 

little bit of rain.  

Hola! from the other sister that is alive

Tiffany, i love you.

I'm sorry that i haven't written on this yet, sometimes when i have to learn new things i get lazy and put it off :) I blame that on the culture down here. Everything is on the slow side. For example all the stores close at 12:30 until 4:30 because that is siesta time and then at night groups of family and friends sit around and drink mate for an average of 2-3 hours. And then because they take naps and drink drinks at night that have a far amount of caffeine in them they stay up late into the night. Also moving their dinner time to around 11:30. I realized that this fits my personality perfect, making me absolutely love all of it here! 

so in conclusion that is why is has taken me so long to write on my own blog :)

Cheap Dates, and even Cheaper cars....

Chelsey, I have the coolest story ever for you.  See if you can beat this.  Dustin put an add on Craig's list saying he was looking for a cheap car.  This guy contacted him a few days later and told him about a car he had for 800 dollars.  Sounded pretty good, and the car was pretty nice.  So Dustin offered him 600 for it.  The guy accepted the offer, and told us to come pick it up.  So Dustin and I planned a rather expensive date of buying a car and seeing a movie.  So yesterday we went to pick up the car.... And he freaking gave it to us for free.  Then we went to Wal-Mart and took full advantage of the movies they show to advertise their big screen T.V's.  We watched the new Indiana Jones Movie.

Free Car+Free Movie at Wal-Mart=Best Date Ever!

Today was one of those days....one of those days where a teacher doesn't enjoy teaching.  I went to bed 45 minutes later than usual, did not expect it to effect me as much as it did.  I freaking couldn't function today.  every movement was a chore, every child a thorn in my side, patience was out of the question. Good news for my students parents today, i pretty much hated their kids.

One good thing did happen.  It gave me joy and it entertained me.  After school i do a daycare for kindergarten and 1st graders.  I sit in a little area and play my ukulele while 10-12 kids run around out of control.  By this time, i no longer care what rules they choose to follow, or not follow.   If they get hurt that's their problem.  But this particular time i had  4 kids and they all ran at me at once, all pointing fingers, all yelling, and all calling the other names.  My first thought was..."Does it really matter if she/he called you stupid, ugly or retarded,"  and my second thought was, "Let's pretend i am all alone i can't see or hear anyone."  So i ignored them, and kept playing and singing to myself.  Eventually they stopped and waited for me to do something.  This  is what I did.  I sent them all away except a boy and a girl who where in the thick of it.  And I told them to sit down right in front of me.  I was going to give them a talking to about how treating each other with love and respect did not require name calling.   Not enough energy.  So instead i decided to let them have an intimate bonding moment.  I told them to face each other sitting cross legged, touching knees, and to stare into each others eyes for five minutes.  2 minutes into it, i told them to keep looking into each others eyes but to think about things they can do to show that they are friends.  Then at the end of five minutes i told them to share their ideas.  Unimportant as to what they said, more importantly it was the only real laugh i had all day.   

CHELSEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! get your butt online, and write something!

I like the snow.... i also like the beach.  Chelsey i can't decide. this is stupid.  You never answer me, but i am not going to give up.  One day i am going to log on and there is going to be a blog from you.  And maybe even a picture.  And i am going to think, "oh good my sister is alive and she is even doing something over there, which i would know if you ever wrote or told me.  I got excited about cleaning my refrigerator out today, that's how lame i am.

Not really sure what i am doing....

  I Just wanted  to set up a blog stop for Chelsey and me but i can't seem to figure out what the heck i am doing.  This seems way more complicated than i thought it would be.  But Chelsey, you have lots of time please use this. Nobody will read it except those we tell about it, so just pretend it is kind of like an online journal.  I think that is the only way i will be able to look at it.  Otherwise i will just not ever write.  But please write, i think that we could make it really cool.